Conspiracy cuisine

 

I found this in the annals and realised I’d forgotten to upload it. Just pretend it’s still August.

Another helpful bit of international geopolitical dialogue from Old W:

US President George W Bush has tightened airline security and said a plot foiled by Britain to blow up US-bound flights was a “stark reminder” the United States is “at war with Islamic fascists”. The suspected plotters were “a couple days from a test, and a few days from doing it,” according to a US intelligence official. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said the plan would have involved coordinated multiple suicide bombings.

“A couple of days”…  “A few days”…  “Doing it” … Please. They’re totally pulling this out of their collective backside. It’s so “I trusted my government and now I glow in the dark” I can barely breathe.

Perhaps I just read too much Russian literature but why does the general population not find these sudden “discoveries of plots” and vague talk of arrests with no names given that take place under the cover of darkness just a little WORTH LOOKING IN TO?

I love this game, but it’s getting fucking old.

Never one to be outdown, Little Johnny Me Too has to weigh in with this:

Commonsense tells you that if people take explosive liquids on board an aircraft and they’re going to become suicide bombers and they’re going to blow a hole in a pressurised cabin, you can imagine what a horrific loss of life there would be.

Methinks Howard is not one to be relying on “commonsense” with comments like that. Surely they become suicide bombers before they get on the aircraft? I mean it’s not like it’s just the meal choice:

“Would you like the chicken or the beef or the jihad?”

“I’ll have the chicken.”

“Oh I’m sorry sir we’re out of chicken.”

“Really? Oh, well, in that case just give me the jihad.”

Get fuzzy

Canine cuisine

 I think Kim Beazley needs to spend more time working on his metaphors/enrol in the UTS creative writing program:

Opposition Leader Kim Beazley says the Nationals should vote with Labor.

“Tossing a few more cans of Pal into the dog’s breakfast will not in fact make decent law,” he said.

Possibly the most depressing thing about our one two party state is watching our two leaders try to out-anti-intellectualise each other in their race to the bottom.

Come back Paul Keating, your country needs you.

Geopolitical cuisine

rheiner: Am having a schnitzel, avocado, and camembert sandwich on italian bread. I can’t believe it’s not the EU.

claudia: I think it sounds like WWII.

rheiner: It’s like there’s an Anschluß in my mouth and everyone’s invited.

claudia: Bad image. Please go back to Sleaze.

Campus cuisine

rheiner: You will love this:

Hi there,
The social club of the University is holding its next lunch on the 17th October at 12.30 in the social club rooms (aka the old Bistro) and would like to invite you to partcipate…

The Theme this month is French; mainly  because I like French food.

The Menu is :

Hot Dishes
1. Quiche Lorraine
2. Estouffade de boeuf bourguignonne (Beef Bourguignon)
3. Poulet St. Tropez (Medallions of chicken sauteed with camembert cheese and red garlic)

POULET ST. TROPEZ?

Frankly I’d expect it to have big hair, big sunglasses, be slightly overcooked and come with at least four martinis. Red garlic? Psssh.

claudia: Isn’t that the lesser known Agneau Donatella Versace?

Office cuisine

Why must people with whom I am forced to share office space insist on eating tuna out of a can IT SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD PEOPLE.

Way outside Andromeda

Love Outside Andromeda | Annandale Hotel Sydney | 6 Oct 2006

Enora
Sparrow
Tongue like a Tether
Boxcutter, Baby
Bound By Hurt Dissolved
Keep Looking at the Sky
Measuring Tape
Love is a Battlefield
Gonna Try to be a Girl
Past Tense
Made of Broken Glass
—————
Juno
Something White & Sigmund

Lan Lan

This was the first thing I saw this morning and it is so adorable I just wanted to get back into bed and cry.

 

This is Lan Lan and her newborn. I cannot deal with how much pathos these animals have.

Would you like conservative dogma with that?

There’s nothing really new in the idea that in their respective shifts to the right, Australia’s two political parties are becoming harder and harder to tell apart. But this week’s outburt of “mateship”/”Australian values” hysteria adds a nice slant of surrealism to that whole debate. Both Howard and Beazley published opinion pieces in the Sydney Morning Herald on Thursday, both discussing mateship and Australian values and what prospective migrants should or should not be expected to sign on to. It’s almost hard to work out that they’re even disagreeing with each other. Don’t believe me? Try and identify the author of each of these lines from the Herald pieces:

1: mateship is uniquely Australian.

2: [mateship] is the great equaliser in Australian society.

3: Australian values belong to all Australians.

4: manipulate values for what he perceives as political gain

5: we value our prosperity, our tolerance and our compassion.

6: mateship is treating people equally, regardless of race, gender, creed or religion.

7: we believe in equality, irrespective of race, religion, gender or national origin.

8: we should never shy away from reaffirming what makes us uniquely Australian

9: we are … ever ready to provide help wherever it is needed.

10: mateship is extending a helping hand when another person is down on their luck.

11: we have always sought to integrate our new immigrants into the mainstream of Australian life.

12: true national leadership demands that Australian values are reinforced.

13: our commitment to shared values is our social cement.

Spooky, n’est-ce pas?

And don’t even get me started on this. Just when you think the level of Australian public discourse and debate couldn’t get any more stupid:

The Prime Minister, John Howard, said yesterday a discussion paper on the new citizenship test, to be released tomorrow with an accompanying advertising campaign, would propose quizzing aspiring citizens’ language skills as well as their grasp of Australia’s history, culture and values. Asked if the history component would include questions on cricket, Mr Howard was prepared to consider it. “You never know. I think to understand the history of this country I think you might have to do that,” he said.

I hate this fucking country.

The declining years of Robin Hood

Now, we all know there is a rather large section of society for whom the digital age in general, and internet access specifically, is a dangerous thing. But what the hell is this?

Seriously. I know he spent a lot of time in the forest in the company of some fairly weird merry men, but Robin Hood obviously went to town on those funny plants if this is how he’s ended up. An old age pension and a deranged imagination can be a dangerous combination.

I don’t even know where to start. The vinyl boots could (at a very long stretch) be hot, but the matching gloves are just disturbing. Not to mention the hat. Not to mention WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT CODPIECE? Someone should inform the Grapefruit Protection Society IMMEDIATELY. And I love the matching vinyl jockstrap and strapping. It’s like he’s taken inspiration from Charlize Theron.

Voluntary euthanasia where are you?