Geopolitical cuisine

rheiner: Am having a schnitzel, avocado, and camembert sandwich on italian bread. I can’t believe it’s not the EU.

claudia: I think it sounds like WWII.

rheiner: It’s like there’s an Anschluß in my mouth and everyone’s invited.

claudia: Bad image. Please go back to Sleaze.

Campus cuisine

rheiner: You will love this:

Hi there,
The social club of the University is holding its next lunch on the 17th October at 12.30 in the social club rooms (aka the old Bistro) and would like to invite you to partcipate…

The Theme this month is French; mainly  because I like French food.

The Menu is :

Hot Dishes
1. Quiche Lorraine
2. Estouffade de boeuf bourguignonne (Beef Bourguignon)
3. Poulet St. Tropez (Medallions of chicken sauteed with camembert cheese and red garlic)

POULET ST. TROPEZ?

Frankly I’d expect it to have big hair, big sunglasses, be slightly overcooked and come with at least four martinis. Red garlic? Psssh.

claudia: Isn’t that the lesser known Agneau Donatella Versace?

Hot dog, we have a wiener

cvm: All this Howard vs. Costello stuff makes me think we should be reading the papers very closely for the next few days to see what’s being kept off the front pages.

rheiner: Oooh, think I found it: “The cabinet decided yesterday to remove the restrictions on foreigners owning Australian media and scrap rules limiting ownership of newspapers and television licences in any one city.” Is there a prize?

cvm: World peace was recalled by the manufacturer so i’m afraid the only prize left is a niggling sense of terror at the state of the world. Ta da!

rheiner: Oh. <pouts> I won that last time.

cvm: We do still have some Presidency of East Timor available.

rheiner: Oh. Perhaps I’ll just risk that for what’s in the box.

cvm: Is that your final answer?

rheiner: I think so.

cvm: Congratulation rheiner! You are now the proud owner of The Australian Democrats! Oh well, they can’t all be winners…

rheiner: Shit. The only thing more tedious than “Who Wants to Lead the Liberals?” is “Who Wants to be President of the Democrats? Anyone? Anyone at all? Any takers? Hello? Is this thing on?”

cvm: You even get the optional Cheryl Kernot “when i still had a modicum of credibility” figurine.

Festival of the I Couldn’t Possibly

rheiner 09:14: Paris: 18 degrees and clear. I so couldn’t possibly, I can’t even say Je Ne Couldn’t Possiblement.

cvm 09:20: <sobs>

rheiner 09:25: Reykjavík: 10 and sunny. <wails>

cvm 09:30: I don’t care what the weather is, it’s: Bologna — Nicer than here.

rheiner 09:35: I know, “Today’s forecast is you being in Europe. Therefore Paris. Etc.”

cvm 09:39: It’s like “Clouds of Gauloises and nubile young intellectuals a-go-go. And decent coffee.” The outlook will be fine. Really, really, really fine.

cvm 10:40: Meanwhile, I love how Australia’s so proud that we “made it in” to the World Cup. Have you seen some of the countries in there? I’m surprised Vatican City don’t have a team.

rheiner 10:44: Benedict XVI would look so hot in one of those large hats and little soccer shorts. Oh wait, I remember that court case.

cvm: 10:43: At least they’d have a large selection of ball boys…

rheiner 10:47: Ouch.

cvm: 10:48: Mi dispiace, j’ai besoin d&apos;encore du café peut etre. Oh no. The Da Vinci Code conversation is on in the kitchen again. Why does the world hate me so?

rheiner: 10:50: I wear headphones constantly at work for a reason. I also quite like “What’s the Da Vinci Code? No, I haven’t heard of it. A book you say? Sorry, I only read real literature.”

cvm: 10:50: Current favourite: “Trapped in a mine you say? My, they sure kept that quiet…”

Forms of transport that would be even cooler if they could hold a martini glass

Concord

Thalys

Hydrofoil

Mule

MIAT — Mongolian Airways

The Blanchot School of Management

cvm 09:48: Am also re-reading Blanchot in order to protect own wanker status; “Act in such a way that I can speak to you.” – “Yes, but do you have any idea of what I should do to accomplish that?” – “Persuade me that you hear me.” – “Well, then, begin; speak to me.” – “How could I begin to speak if you do not hear me?” (Blanchot 5)

rheiner 10:01: I love it. Resolve to conduct next business meeting along similar lines. “Before I start this meeting I’d like everyone to consider exactly the possibility or extent to which one might be able to “speak” to an/Other.”

<ten minute silence; occassional shuffling noises>

cvm 10:20: It could be like one of those motivational speaker workplace exercises except it ends with half the room in existential crisis and the other half singing the Marseillaise whilst contructing barricades with the office furniture.

You survey this scene with a gallic sense of satisfaction and reward yourself with another Pernod. And another lover.

Het begin van de einde

Clear evidence that claudia and I should be allowed to spend a significant part of the work day emailing each other:

rheiner: Ooooh SMH hyperbole: The Yarra was transformed into the Seine of the South, a ribbon of lights, a stream of artistic consciousness. Um, je crois que non.

cvm: Is it a virginia woolf walks into a river kind of consciousness? Cos then i buy it.

rheiner: That’s so the joke opening for (post)modernists: “Virginia Woolf walks into a river…”. No! No! Wait… “Virginia Woolf walks into a stream. Of consciousness.” I kill me. Modernism meets Postmodernism. Ooooh… What would we call that?

Hair

Sent: 1 March 06 10:17 AM
To: claudia

The look my hair appears to be going for today could only be described as “windswept”.

Alas, this is more of the barren Scottish cliffs dropping direct into the north atlantic, rather than of the gentle coastal zephyr variety.

From: claudia
Date: 1 March 06 10:20 AM

re: hair issues

i’m not sure i should have switched to ayurvedic shampoo. my hair is kinda fuzzy and smells like food. must remember to redye soon, somehow when it starts looking browner than blacker it just looks kind of western suburbs rather than western europe.

issues is tissues without t. why?

my cough mixture smells like cat food.

Business Class Hero

My personal world map

visited 24 countries-
like to visit 55 countries

Create your own world map

Occasional guide to Paris #3

A Parisian who jumps off a bridge is in Seine.

Thank you claudia.