PandaCam

I just lost days of my life.

Get fuzzy

Office cuisine

Why must people with whom I am forced to share office space insist on eating tuna out of a can IT SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD PEOPLE.

The declining years of Robin Hood

Now, we all know there is a rather large section of society for whom the digital age in general, and internet access specifically, is a dangerous thing. But what the hell is this?

Seriously. I know he spent a lot of time in the forest in the company of some fairly weird merry men, but Robin Hood obviously went to town on those funny plants if this is how he’s ended up. An old age pension and a deranged imagination can be a dangerous combination.

I don’t even know where to start. The vinyl boots could (at a very long stretch) be hot, but the matching gloves are just disturbing. Not to mention the hat. Not to mention WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT CODPIECE? Someone should inform the Grapefruit Protection Society IMMEDIATELY. And I love the matching vinyl jockstrap and strapping. It’s like he’s taken inspiration from Charlize Theron.

Voluntary euthanasia where are you?

A Guide to World Revolutions

A Guide to World Revolutions, Part 1

Name: Russian Revolution

Year: 1917

Winners: Lenin, Stalin, Joe McCarthy

Losers: czars, tsars, tzars, csars

Causes: Beet shortages

Weapons: Misery, snow, remaining beets

Catchphrase: I am now and will always be a card-carrying member of the Communist Party.

Political commentary, 2006

If “pro” is the opposite of “con”, does that mean that “Congress” is the opposite of “progress”?

Re:location

So, I got bored with the mundanity of livejournal and now I’ve discovered wordpress. It’s like blog 2.0, or some other nerdtastic buzzword.

Or something.

Best wishes to Nicole on her special day

rheiner 15:58: IF I READ ONE MORE THING ABOUT NICOLE KIDMAN’S WEDDING I AM GOING TO SHIT IN AN ENVELOPE AND MAIL IT TO HER. I hope someone swaps her wedding cake for a Michel’s Patisserie LOG.

christian 16:20: And inserts it up her wedding dress.

rheiner 16:32: Just inserts it. Period. Followed by Naomi Watts, and a lamb roast.

christian 16:34: “Sorry, mum’s making a lamb roast tonight. And then shoving it up Nicole Kidman’s c**t.”

rheiner 16:36: <sprays water across desk> I love it. I can just see her standing there smiling benignly, giving a thumbs up! sign for the paparazzi while the lamb roast slowly disappears…

christian 16:40: I’m envisaging some shabby, oiled roast held together by greasy string, her inner thighs shiny and streaked with garlic and chopped herbs…

rheiner 16:42: Someone just walks by and sprinkles some rosemary across her lap.

christian 16:46: …or a fistful of chives. I was trying to think of something involving an oven bag, but I was getting into terrifying territory.

Forms of transport that would be even cooler if they could hold a martini glass

Concord

Thalys

Hydrofoil

Mule

MIAT — Mongolian Airways

Mocking the Catholic Church: easy and fun

This man (on the left, wearing a fabulous vintage chiffon-lined Dior gold lamé gown over a silk Vera Wang empire waist tulle cocktail dress, accessorized with a 3-foot beaded peaked House of Whoville hat, and the ruby slippers Judy Garland wore in The Wizrd of Oz) is worried that The Da Vinci Code might make the Roman Catholic Church look foolish.