Shitney
Posted by rheiner on 18 December 2008
Even though Britney Spears’ new album is apparently the greatest career resurrection since AD33, she still manages to spend half of the video for Womaniser with her tits splashed all over the screen.
This is because:
(a) she’s so empowered by her own sexuality or motherhood or whatever that she even co-wrote one of the songs on the album – just like a real artist!
(b) sticking the microphone up her snatch and throwing her voice would have been calling a spade a spade, but was probably one step too far for MTV
(c) she has a slightly better grasp of irony than Alanis Morissette and anyway Circus is a much better comeback album than the miscarriage that was Flavours of Entanglement so there
(d) she’s trying to deflect attention from the fact that in the other half of the video it’s obvious she purchased a couple of wigs and at least one outfit from the Tori Amos post-American Doll Posse World Tour Everything Must Go Fire Sale
(e) she’s determined to keep on keeping on despite the fact that somewhere in a darkened cupboard there’s a portrait of Brittney that looks very much like this:
Discuss.
[helmet] said
Pleasing to see that it is Britney that breaks the three month excess baggage drought, it even marks almost 12 months since your last bout of music commentary (aww, Joanna. love).
Only one point of contention, I feel you have misjudged Flavours of Entanglement as an Alanis comeback album, Jagged Little Pill Acoustic clearly marked the attempted comeback, Flavours merely twisted the dagger.
While not disputing the existence of a darkened cupboard full of Polaroid snaps featuring a Britney that only a mother could love, I’m not sure Brits has graduated to the Madonna look, just yet. Waning Botox, roots growing out, botched Restylane injected lips, and skin microdermabrasioned to the point where mere atoms are holding back blood vessels from bursting through doesn’t just happen overnight. Give Madonna credit where credit is due, it’s taken her years to sand blast that amount of skin off without tearing.
I refuse to sit through Womaniser to witness the ecologically sound reuse of American Doll Posse wigs and outfits, but given our tough economic times is it any real wonder our Brits is forced to squeeze into diva hand-me-downs. Just think of the marketing cred they gain – Cruelty free! Tested on Tori.
I hope they used one hell of a dry-cleaner.